April 23, 2015 at 12:21am
I will start off by saying “yes I know I am young” but I am starting to feel “older”. It is crazy how having a teenager living amongst us has taken me back to my own teenage years. The pure joy and silliness that comes from just hanging out with your best friend, the hurt and feeling of rejection when being left out, the sadness of losing friends you thought would always be there, boy drama, and the anger when your parents “just don’t get it”. The weird part of it all is that I can vividly remember and feel so many of these feelings. I can hear songs, and smell hair dye, and feel hugs, remember pain, relive heartbreak, know the confusion like I was 16 again. I never really thought about any of this stuff until I started watching it be lived out by my own child. Guess what? It is fun, silly, hard, confusing, sad, ridiculous, hurtful, loving, great and horrible just like when we were younger all over again.
I wish that I had known and understood that my mom/dad went through all the same things and feelings that I did. I wish that as a teenager I could have thought about that and gone to her/him for advice more than I already did. When I felt alone, like no one would understand I wish that I had known and believed that she did/would understand.
If you are a younger girl or boy and you are reading this please know that we/your parents do understand. You may think that we don’t but we do. We made stupid mistakes and did wrong things and made bad choices, we had crushes and best friends, and silly memories, we were rejected at time, we felt alone, we were sad, had broken hearts, were in a fight with our very best friend, and we were made by God just like you. We are the parents now and you may think we don’t understand because you don’t agree with the advice we give or because we got angry over what you told us. Sometimes even though we understand why you did or said whatever it was, that doesn’t mean that it was right. It is now our job to do as our parents did and try to show you how to make the best choices for you. We can understand and still want you to know that there are alternative options on how to deal with certain things. Punishment is not a way for us to be “mean” it is a learning tool. We don’t throw out punishments because we don’t understand, we do it in hopes to help better you for your future. We love you, and there is never a moment that I feel like a good parent more than when my children come and talk to me about something that most kids don’t tell their parents.
Proof that parents were teenagers just like you:
1. Two best friends walked to circle K one day for soda. These two best friends started running and laughing so hard that one of them pee’d their pants! (embarrassing to say the least)
2. 3 best friends were dying each others hair 2 girls, 1 boy. Boys hair got bleached (no we didn’t burn it) and the girls were trying highlights for the first time, one of them came out spotted like a leopard! ( made fun of at school for sure)
3. best friend has to move away ( heart wrenching, end of world feeling)
4. Brother broke a vase, older sister got blamed ( wrongly accused)
5. boy and girl had been “dating” for a long time in junior high terms, girl got dumped ( complete broken heart, doesn’t matter if it is true love or not, if you think it’s love at the time, it hurts)
6. 2 best friends and one keeps the secret of the century from the other, when finally tells the truth there was silence for a couple months (sad, hurt, lost, lonely and feeling like the worst friend ever)
7. Did a bad thing and let parents think it was a different friends fault ( lying to protect self)
8. Yelled at Mom, because I thought she didn’t understand ( my guess now is that she did)
9. best friend decides they want a new best friend ( worst pain)
10. asked to drink at a party and said no ( now known as “uncool” “dork” “loser” “afraid” and anything else bad that people may call you)
We’ve been there, and believe it or not you will make it through and survive! There is hope and tons of it.